Up By The Roots

I have lived a hundred lives this year. It’s difficult to think in terms of a year because I feel as if the time has spanned at least a decade since maybe February, March. No… February was when things started to change. Even as I mentally dissociated at nearly every turn, I was present physically in each moment all year. At the same time, I knew consciously that there was a constant energetic undercurrent running beneath the surface of all the things my body endured. Yes, all my organs were there being carried around by my frame and so, technically speaking I was around. But like most people who rarely mean to refer to their physical body when they describe their life’s experiences, the spirit of me was elsewhere. Away, wandering, coming and going and returning, an altogether avoidant sort of approach to acknowledging the weight of what was truly going on.